AARDVARK: shouts at BAKED BEANS: drops on cat KETCHUP: decorates mother with Mr Punishment has the perfect punishment for every naughtiness in the world and every day his telephone rings with parents desperate for his advice. But Mr Punishment never seems to get it quite right — with chaotic results!

A witness. Such a simple concept — and yet for Dexter Morgan, a perfectly well-disguised serial killer, the possibility of a witness is terrifying. As an upstanding blood-spatter analyst for the Miami Police, Dexter has always managed to keep the darker side of his life out of the spotlight. An expert at finding truly bad people — murderers who've long escaped justice — Dexter has long been giving them his own special brand of attention. But now someone has seen him in the act. Dexter is being followed, manipulated and mimicked, leading him to realise that no one likes to have a double — especially when his double's goal is to kill him. Dexter is not one to tolerate such displeasure... in fact, he has a knack for extricating himself from trouble in his own pleasurable way.

Ed Hartlepool has been living in self-imposed exile for five years, but with a settlement regarding his inheritance looming, he must return to his ancestral seat, Hartlepool Hall. On his return, he discovers that his father has left him, along with the house, a seven million pound tax bill, two massive overdrafts, an 80-year-old butler, and a vast country estate that is creaking at the seams. Not only that, but there is a strange woman in residence — Lady Alice — who seems to have made herself very much at home. With the debts mounting, it seems that Ed's only recourse is to turn to his friend Annabel's new boyfriend, a property developer who plans to turn Hartlepool Hall into luxury flats and a golf course. But can Ed save his inheritance without such a drastic move? And is Lady Alice really the person she claims to be?

«This volume contains 25 classic short stories, including «We Can Remember It For You Wholesale», which inspired the film «Total Recall».»

Fifty men and women set out in the twenty-third century from Earth aboard an interstellar craft to travel to a planet some thirty light-years away. The ship will approach the speed of light and so (as Einstein predicted) subjective time on board will slow and so the journey of several decades will be of much shorter duration for the crew. But the ship's deceleration system is irreparably damaged when it hits a cloud of interstellar dust and acceleration continues toward light speed, tau zero. Soon the ship is speeding through galaxies and eons are passing on board the ship in the blink of an eye ...

Eric is the Discworld's only demonology hacker. The trouble is, he's not very good at it. All he wants is the usual three wishes: to be immortal, rule the world and have the most beautiful woman fall madly in love with him. The usual stuff. But what he gets is Rincewind, the Disc's most incompetent wizard, and Rincewind's Luggage (the world's most dangerous travel accessory) into the bargain. Terry Pratchett's hilarious take on the Faust legend stars many of the Discworld's most popular characters in an outrageous adventure that will leave Eric wishing once more — this time, quite fervently, that he'd never been born.

Mockingbird is a powerful novel of a future world where humans are dying. Those that survive spend their days in a narcotic bliss or choose a quick suicide rather than slow extinction. Humanity's salvation rests with an android who has no desire to live, and a man and a woman who must discover love, hope, and dreams of a world reborn.

What are you thinking, Amy? The question I've asked most often during our marriage, if not out loud, if not to the person who could answer. I suppose these questions stormcloud over every marriage: What are you thinking? How are you feeling? Who are you? What have we done to each other? What will we do? Just how well can you ever know the person you love? This is the question that Nick Dunne must ask himself on the morning of his fifth wedding anniversary, when his wife Amy suddenly disappears. The police immediately suspect Nick. Amy's friends reveal that she was afraid of him, that she kept secrets from him. He swears it isn't true. A police examination of his computer shows strange searches. He says they aren't his. And then there are the persistent calls on his mobile phone. So what really did happen to Nick's beautiful wife? And what was in that half-wrapped box left so casually on their marital bed? In this novel, marriage truly is the art of war...

It should have all been so easy for Vincent Madigan. Take four hundred grand from the thieves who stole it in the first place and who could they turn to for help? Madigan is charming, resourceful, and knows how to look after himself. The only problem is that he's up to his neck in debt to the drug king of East Harlem. This one heist will give Madigan the chance he needs to get his life back on track. But things go wrong when Madigan is forced to kill his co-conspirators and a child is shot in the crossfire. Now both sides of the law are hunting him down, and the one cop assigned to lead the case is the very last person he could have expected. Employing every deception and ruse he can think of, Madigan must stay one step ahead in a battle of wits that will test him to his limits. Can he evade justice for his crimes, or will his own conscience be his final undoing?

Doctor Who Screenwriter Ben Aaronovitch's superbly entertaining supernatural crime series has, with its witty one-liners and wonderfully erudite take on London, won a legion of fans in double quick time. Peter Grant is learning magic fast. And its just as well — he's already had run ins with the deadly supernatural children of the Thames and a terrifying killer in Soho. Progression in the Police Force is less easy. Especially when you work in a department of two. A department that doesn't even officially exist. A department that if you did describe it to most people would get you laughed at. And then there's his love life. The last person he fell for ended up seriously dead. It wasn't his fault, but still. Now something horrible is happening in the labyrinth of tunnels that make up the tube system that honeycombs the ancient foundations of London. And delays on the Northern line is the very least of it. Time to call in the Met's Economic and Specialist Crime Unit 9, aka 'The Folly'. Time to call in PC Peter Grant, Britains Last Wizard.

King Arthur is the ultimate English hero. According to mediaeval histories and romances, he led the defence of Britain against the Saxon invaders in the early 6th century. Even so, the historical basis of his existence is much disputed by modern historians, although it is impossible not to imagine him at the heart of much of our literature from stories to poems to films and plays. Richard Brassey's unique gift for extracting truth from myth in a concise and insightful way makes this book the perfect introduction to King Arthur for young readers — and confused tourists!

Thousands of years ago an orphan boy and his wolf cub companion challenge a demon bear that threatens to destroy their world forever. With the help of the World Spirit, Torak destroys the bear, but his beloved Wolf is lost in the ensuing avalanche. And Torak's quest is far from over. A strange, creeping sickness, silent and deadly, is threatening the Ravens. Word arrives that the Seal Clan have the cure and Torak must face a lonely journey to find it. On the Seal's Island he stumbles into a world utterly unlike his own. Here life moves to the rhythms of the sea, the Seals build shelters from whale bones and skim the waves in fast, beautiful kayaks. And here Torak is welcomed by the kindly Seal Mage, Teneris, and kinsman, Bale. But all is not as it seems — Torak must keep his wits about him to judge who might be friend or foe. As in 'Wolf Brother' Michelle Paver's sheer passion for her story set in a world of myth and natural magic, shines through in this skilfully woven, exciting and brilliantly satisfying second instalment of the Chronicles of Ancient Darkness. Launched at the height of the Harry Potter phenomenon, the Chronicles of Ancient Darkness is the ultimate magical adventure. This edition contains brand new interviews with Michelle Paver. Audio edition also available, read by Ian McKellen.

«A celebration of the Queen and her reign which will appeal to children, or souvenir hunters, as it's presented in an appealing style and format. Irreverent but always affectionate, the book reveals quirky facts alongside solid history, and is in the same highly illustrated style as the author's «Nessie The Loch Ness Monster» and «Greyfriars Bobby».»

Jason Taverner is a Six, the result of top secret government experiments forty years before which produced a handful of unnaturally bright and beautiful people — and he's the prime-time idol of millions until, inexplicably, all record of him is wiped from the data banks of Earth. Suddenly he's a nobody in a police state where nobody is allowed to be a nobody. Will he ever be rich and famous again? Was he, in fact, ever rich and famous?

Nobody likes The Complaints — they're the cops who investigate other cops. Complaints and Conduct Department, to give them their full title, but known colloquially as 'the Dark Side', or simply 'The Complaints'. Malcolm Fox works for The Complaints. He's just had a result, and should be feeling good about himself. But he's middle-aged, sour and unwell. He also has a father in a care home and a sister who persists in an abusive relationship. In the midst of an aggressive Edinburgh winter, the reluctant Fox is given a new task. There's a cop called Jamie Breck, and he's dirty. Problem is, no one can prove it. But as Fox takes on the job, he learns that there's more to Breck than anyone thinks. This knowledge will prove dangerous, especially when murder intervenes.

Harry Bosch is facing the end of the line. He's been put on the DROP — Deferred Retirement Option Plan — and given three years before his retirement is enforced. Seeing the end of the mission coming, he's anxious for cases. He doesn't have to wait long. First a cold case gets a DNA hit for a rape and murder which points the finger at a 29-year-old convicted rapist who was only eight at the time of the murder. Then a city councilman's son is found dead — fallen or pushed from a hotel window — and he insists on Bosch taking the case despite the two men's history of enmity. The cases seem to be unrelated; one leads to the discovery of a killer operating in the city for as long as three decades, the other to a deep political conspiracy that reached back into the dark history of the police department...

Ned Beaumont is a tall, thin, moustache-wearing, TB-ridden, drinking, gambling, hanger-on to the political boss of a corrupt Eastern city. Nevertheless, like every Hammett hero (and like Hammett himself), he has an unbreakable, if idiosyncratic moral code. Neds boss wants to better himself with a thoroughbred senators daughter; but does he want it badly enough to commit murder? If hes innocent, who wants him in the frame? Beaumont must find out.

One Thursday lunchtime Earth is unexpectedly demolished to make way for a new hyperspace bypass. For Arthur Dent, who has only just had his house demolished that morning, this is already more than he can cope with. Sadly, however, the weekend has only just begun. And the Galaxy is a very, very large and startling place indeed... The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy became a massive cult success when it was first published and continues to sell all over the world. It introduced such memorable characters as Arthur Dent, Marvin the Paranoid Android, Zaphod Beeblebrox and, of course, the Vogons, and remains one of the funniest, most irreverent and entertaining novels ever.

Four brand new stories in which Horrid Henry makes his own scary movie, The Undead Demon Monster Who Would Not Die, persuades Peter to hand over his stash of Grump Cards (as a brilliant scheme to get him out of the punishments his parents give him) and spends a weekend at Aunt Ruby's where he has to share a bedroom with his two arch-enemies, Stuck-Up Steve and Bossy Bill. Then when Henry's school decides to have a mini-Olympics, he sets up his own Holympics, with medals for crisp-eating, TV watching, and Burping to the Beat.

James Bond has been partnered with an Israeli Mossad agent, Pete Natkowitz, and assigned to work with the KGB to infiltrate a terrorist group. The group, The Scales of Justice, are demanding the trial of a suspected Nazi war criminal and each day of delay brings another death. Posing as a TV crew, Bond and the other agents attempt to discover the group's real motive. When Bond realises that the real aim is to supply Iraq with nuclear weapons just before the United Nations-led coalition invades he faces the most crucial mission of his life.