Congratulations! You're about to have a kid? Well, Bro, you might be asking yourself a series of important questions: Will I ever be able to do awesome things again? Will I be able to afford this? Can I ever have sex again? Will I be a good parent? Am I able to love this child as much as I love my own life? Well, the answer to all of these questions is a rock solid no. But just because your life is now a petrifying turd on the canvas of life doesn't mean your kid has to be as lame as you're about to become. Which is why Barney has written this book.